Who Needs Drugs When You Have Kids?

Being Sick Sucks

2009-03-25T14:19:00.001-07:00

I've been home the last two days with the flu, and it really fucking sucks. Not totally the being sick part. It's just that daytime TV is terrible. At least yesterday The Flaming Redhead was home to pamper and take care of me. (Ouch, I laughed so hard at that one it hurt.) No one was home today, and while the solace was nice, it would have been better with something to watch, my head hurts too much to read, and I just couldn't sleep anymore. Seriously, it's all soap operas and crappy court TV shows. At least I got to catch a show the Rev. Jim has been telling me about - The First 48 Hours. Pretty cool...

Seriously, though, with the drivel on during the day, you'd think that the jobless problem would be a lot better than it is. People should be applying for work out of sheer fucking boredom. I'm actually kind of looking forward to going back to work tomorrow, simply for something to do during the day. Although I'm dreading what my desk will look like when I get there. No one at my office can do a damn thing without me, and it's really fucking annoying...

100% Pure, Unadulturated White Trash

2009-02-26T17:11:00.000-08:00

This is fucking awesome. If it weren't for the accents, I swear this could be where I live. It starts a little slow, but the ending is spectacular!

It's Finally Over!!

2009-01-21T16:27:00.000-08:00

So, the Inaugural ceremonies took place yesterday. Being a ticket broker in the DC Metropolitan area, we were selling tickets for all of the events. My office was a madhouse, especially on Monday. We were tearing our hair out trying to fill some of these orders. We even had a satellite office in DC where people could pick up tickets, or drop them off if they were selling them. That place was insane. It was a condo we rented for a few days not far from the Verizon Center. There were people all over the lobby throughout the day waiting to get the orders filled and get their tickets. At one point, a Secret Service agent told our crew that they were not allowed to have that many people congregating in the lobby and they would have to take their business upstairs. Turns out he lives in the building and was probably pissed there were that many people there, but it's still kinda scary when the Secret Service shows up while you're doing something the government is trying to make illegal... So, after they moved business upstairs, there was a line of people about fifteen deep leading out of the unit. I'm sure they loved that too...

A couple of us calculated, and we determined that between Thursday and Monday, we had worked about 60 hours apiece. With no overtime pay. No lunch breaks. Absolutely no fun. This morning we were all zombies. I have no idea how I got anything done. I barely even remember the last few days. All I know is we busted our asses and we're apparently getting rewarded for it with bonuses. I do know that had McCain been elected, it wouldn't have been nearly as bad. I also know the company wouldn't have made nearly as much money, so I guess it all works out in the end.

To make things even worse, the people who were manning the "satellite office" technically don't even work for us. They are the wife of and friends of my boss. So, I felt a little bad about all of the trouble they went through, especially the people screaming at my boss' wife. She's just too nice of a person to deal with that shit. I'm also waiting for all of the angry phone calls from people who couldn't make it into their ticketed areas for the swearing-in ceremony or couldn't make it to their parade locations from the swearing-in ceremony. Oh well, it's not our fault. We told everyone to get there very early, and they most likely couldn't get to both, logistically speaking.

I have made two mental notes regarding the next Inauguration:

Make sure that we get a hotel room reserved well in advance where we can handle all of the ticket distributions, since people milling in and out of a hotel lobby is actually normal.
Make sure I have another job so I don't have to go through this again.

Eclectic Tastes

2009-01-09T18:57:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm going to cop out and take a page from Del-V's book. Plus, I have no idea what to write about. I rarely listen to my iPod on shuffle, because I keep skipping to the next song, and I tend to want to listen to one band at a time. So, here's a sample of what is on my iPod...

"She Builds Quick Machines", Velvet Revolver, Libertad
"Folsom Prison Blues", Johnny Cash, Complete Live at San Quentin
"Traveling Riverside Blues", Led Zeppelin, BBC Sessions
"We'll Meet Again", Johnny Cash, American IV: The Man Comes Around
"Out Ta Get Me", Guns N' Roses, Live Era '87-'93
"Rehab", Amy Winehouse, Back to Black
"Sea of Sorrow", Alice in Chains, Facelift
"Venus De Milo", Miles Davis, The Complete Birth of the Cool
"Last Dead Mouse", The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Don't Know How to Party
"A Place in My Heart", Social Distortion, Social Distortion
"Born Under a Bad Sign", Jimi Hendrix, no album title
"End", Big Audio Dynamite, Megatop Phoenix
"She Talks to Angels", The Black Crowes, Shake Your Money Maker
"You Belong to Me (Live)", Elvis Costello, This Year's Model (Deluxe Edition)
"Front Porch Entertainers", The Hentchmen, Three Times Infinity
"Alison (Live)", Elvis Costello, My Aim is True (Deluxe Edition)
"Footprints on My Ceiling", Social Distortion, Sex, Love & Rock N' Roll
"The Rebel - Johnny Yuma", Johnny Cash, The Essential Johnny Cash
"I'll Work for Your Love", Bruce Springsteen, Magic
"Salty Dog", Flogging Molly, Swagger
"Night Rally", Elvis Costello, This Year's Model
"What Was Was Over", The Mighty Mighty Bosstones, Don't Know How to Party
"Pinball Wizard", The Who, Greatest Hits
"Soft", Kings of Leon, Aha Shake Heartbreak
"All Women Are Bad", The Cramps", Stay Sick!
"Since I've Been Loving You", Led Zeppelin, Led Zeppelin III
"Brendan #1", Fugazi, Repeater
"No Way Back", Foo Fighters, In Your Honor (Disc 1)
"Last Exit", Pearl Jam, Vitalogy
"I Turned Out a Punk", Big Audio Dynamite, Planet BAD: Greatest Hits

Uh oh, my heart stopped... Okay, there it goes.

2009-01-05T19:13:00.000-08:00

The Wife (heretofore known as The Flaming Redhead, in honor of Dr. Z of Sports Illustrated fame) and I came up with a joint New Year's resolution this year. I say it is a joint resolution because it's the same as everyone else; lose weight and get in better shape. To help with this, she bought us the Wii Fit for Christmas. I tried it out for the first time tonight. Nintendo needs to change its programming. When you first set up your profile, it takes your weight, height and age and calculates your BMI, as well as somehow measuring your "fitness age".

Your fitness age has something to do with your posture, weight, body mass index and balance. A little about me. I smoke. I smoke a lot. Way more than I should. I also eat a lot. Sue me, I like food. I like food as much as I hate exercising. Now, while I get measured as being overweight, somehow my "fitness age" is 26. I'm 31. I should have been way above where I was on the chart. It gives me some hope. Maybe I can get my fat ass into shape. Maybe that will help me with my other New Year's resolution.

On another note, the food so far has been pretty good. Food.com and DisccoveryHealth.com have some pretty good healty eating recipes. The problem lies in portions. Damn New Year's resolutions...

Digging Up the Past

2008-12-18T18:01:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been thinking about an old girlfriend of mine. I don't know why. Maybe it's all of Del-V's discussions of old girlfriends. The difference is, his stories are generally funny. This one isn't really. This is the girl that absolutely ripped out my heart and stomped that sucker flat. In fact, she may as well have been this guy...

I have no idea why I would want to dig up old, painful memories. I did, though. I was able to track her down through the internet. Now before you call me some sort of creepy stalker, she did the same thing to me about six years ago, so this is payback, I guess...

Well, we've been e-mailing back and forth for a couple days. She seems well. She's married, house, pets, no kids... I realized, though, how much we went in separate directions after we broke up. Not even sure we'd get along that well now.

I guess it's closure. Not really sure. Not even sure how I feel about getting back in touch with her. I was actually ready to propose to her the night she broke up with me. It pretty much left me walking around like Mikey from Swingers for months on end...

Well, I don't know how getting back in touch with her makes me feel, but I do know how this makes me feel...

Pretty damn good...

I Need to Move

2008-12-11T19:07:00.000-08:00

I think it's really getting to be time to get the hell out of Maryland. First of all, it's getting too crowded here. It's a short distance from DC. Therefore, along with northern VA, we're getting more and more overloaded with people in politics. Also, for some reason, living in Maryland has seemed to become some sort of status symbol. Also, our taxes just got increased. Yeah, yeah, I know. It's just a 1% increase. But that's an extra 20% I have to pay to this state.

Also, I can't stand the traffic. It's bad enough when the weather is good. When it is raining, people in Maryland suddenly forget how to drive. God forbid it actually snows... And that's another thing. I hate snow. I don't just dislike it, I HATE it. Shoveling it, driving in it, whatever... I could go on and on, but I don't want to bore you.

Anyway, I think I have it nailed down to two places: San Diego or Tucson. What do these places have? Sun. Lots of it. Nice weather, especially San Diego. What do they not have? Snow. Also, the traffic in Tucson can't be nearly as bad as it is here. I think I'd prefer San Diego, because I've always wanted to learn how to surf. I think Tucson would be the better bet, though. My wife is a nurse, and she has always wanted to be a flight nurse. Because of the large amount of open spaces in Arizona, there is a big need for flight nurses. Plus, I think it would be really cool to learn how to fly the helicopters.

Regardless, due to family constraints, I don't think we'll be moving until the kids go to college.

One more thing: Del-V & Rev. Jim, this is for you...

Ahh, to be Rich and Famous

2008-12-04T17:52:00.000-08:00

I was bored yesterday at work. Really bored. Our server was down. E-mail was out, and I was only able to effectively do about half of my normal tasks. Also, the boss was freaking out and not really paying attention to his normal habits of passing inane shit over to me to do.

In an attempt to alleviate my boredom, I started looking on Rolling Stone's Daily News section. Someone had published Van Halen's tour rider from this last tour online and RS had a link to it (click here to see it). I remember hearing the stories of their tour demands back in the day, mostly the demand for 1,000 green M&M's. This totally tops it. Some of the stuff makes sense, but it's still weird to see. Like this:

When have you ever heard of a study room needed for a rock band? I realize Little Wolfie is only 16, but it's still funny. However, not nearly as fun as this:

Not only does Diamond Dave need to be as far away from the rest of his bandmates as possible, he needs to practice his Karate before the show. Apparently he needs to get limber for all those high kicks during the show.

Also, it's an absolute fucking miracle none of these guys have had a heart attack yet. Not because of all the drugs they have done and are probably still doing, but all of the Red Bull they drink. These guys order more than any human being should even dream about ingesting. Of course, if they are drinking it all, I don't see a lot of dreaming going on...

Can't... Eat... Any... More...

2008-11-27T17:34:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving has to be my second favorite holiday of the year, with Halloween the only one that ranks higher. There's no other holiday where it is completely acceptable to gorge yourself to the point where you can't eat anymore and watch football all day. I know there is the Super Bowl, but Super Bowl Sunday isn't an official holiday, and there's only one game on. I've been watching non-stop crap games since 12:30 this afternoon.

It was just the four of us this year. It's been so long since we've been able to sit down and have a nice family dinner with just the four of us, we decided to not do the rush around and hit each other's families. Instead of stuffing ourselves by eating two mid-sized meals, we just gorged once where we can crash on the couch and not have to worry about driving anywhere.

Our turkey kicked ass this year. We decided to brine it overnight in a wet mixture of kosher salt and brown sugar. Then, we threw it in the oven at 450 degrees for thirty minutes before dropping the temperature to 325 for the remainder. It left the skin very crispy with a nice sweet taste while the rest of the bird was nice and juicy. I think I've only had one turkey that was better - the Rev. Jim's dad's Cajun fried turkey. I think we might try to fry it next year using the same brine beforehand. Maybe we'll go with a dry rub. I'm too damn stuffed to think that far ahead. A word of advice, though... If there are only four people eating dinner at your house, there is no real reason to bake two pies. Even I'll admit it's overkill.

FREEDOM!!!

2008-11-23T06:22:00.000-08:00

I got out of the house for the first time yesterday. I was actually looking forward to going back to work. At least it wasn't being stuck inside all day...

It sucked. I had more than 150 e-mails to sort through. I had to make sure that the people doing my job while I was gone didn't fuck everything up. (They didn't.) My boss was acting like I had been in all week, asking me to finish up tasks where I had no idea what was going on. And I got stuck with the four whiniest bitches in the office, one in particular. I haven't wanted to "literally" strangle somebody in a long time. I "literally" wanted to strangle her.

Needless to say, when I got home I was in a pretty shitty mood. Football didn't help. LSU got their asses handed to them by Ole Miss. A short time later, the same happened to Maryland by Florida State.

I hope the NFL games are better this weekend. The Saints actually have a Monday Night game! Here's to them pounding the Packers!!

Cabin Fever

2008-11-21T12:24:00.000-08:00

Day 4 of the Appendectomy Recovery Watch. I'm slowly going crazy. Only left the house once since I got her home. I'm being reminded of how much daytime TV sucks. I'm actually looking forward to going to work tomorrow. Need to get out of here...

What A Week...

2008-11-19T18:36:00.000-08:00

I believe these two weeks have been some of the nuttiest I've had in a while. First, work last week was nutty as hell. We've been busy as shit with the upcoming Inauguration, as well as a lot of shows going on sale. Because the only time I get to myself is in my car or when everyone else in the house is asleep, I've been staying up late a lot these days and not getting a lot of sleep. Needless to say, work has been fun near the state of exhaustion.

The weekend was interesting. On Friday, I took the wifey to see Lisa Lampanelli. She's warming up for a new HBO special, so her material was new. That is, the material that didn't include absolutely ripping into the gay, black, Hispanic and/or Asian people in the front rows. Not as funny as Robin Williams - who I saw a couple weeks prior - but she was still funny as hell.

Wifey was happy the rest of the weekend because I let her drag me around shopping all day on Saturday. Apparently the saying is wrong. Money can buy happiness. Just let your wife spend your money at a big fucking mall and everything's cool. At least she watches football, so I got to spend Sunday on the couch all day.

Now, we're at the really fun part. We drag our asses out of bed Monday morning - she has to leave by 6 AM to get to the hospital on time. I get the kids ready for school and head on off to work. Around 3:30, I get a call saying I should meet her at the hospital. We finally left around 5:30 this afternoon...

She was given a bed mid-shift by one of her coworkers with a fever and elevated white blood cell count. To make a long stor short (I know, too late), she spent a lovely evening in the operating room of Baltimore's Sinai Hospital. She was admitted for an emergency appendectomy. The procedure went fine, we slept for a bout three hours that night, and she was discharged this afternoon.

After three days of back-and-forth trips to the hospital the be with her and care for the kids, I'm ficking beat. I'll be here at least one more day to keep an eye on her, then it's back to the normal routine. No rest for the wicked, eh?

I Paid How Much??

2008-11-06T21:13:00.000-08:00

I took the family to see the Trans-Siberian Orchestra tonight. The seats were pretty good. The concert sucked. Maybe it was the fact that it's still 3 weeks until Thanksgiving. Maybe it was the fact that work has been hell the last few days and I was exhausted. Or, maybe it was the fact that they pretty much represent everything I hate about music... The show was nothing but total and complete flash. I don't think The Who use as much smoke and lights as these guys.

For those not familiar, these guys are basically a hair metal band playing rocked-out Christmas music with a couple of their own violinists and a few string players from regional symphonies. I've never been to one, but I get the feeling that this is what it feels like to go to a Poison, Ratt, Skid Row, Insert Crappy 80's Band Here show. Also, to top it off, my daughter fell asleep halfway through the show. It says something about their ability to keep someone's interest, but I think is says more about the fact that she can sleep through ANYTHING!!

The first part of the show was some story about a guy who meets an angel around Christmas and has a drink with said angel. somewhat interesting story, but the music was really slow and pretty boring. Then they brought out the rocking numbers, but it was still pretty dull. Everything sounded the same as they do on the albums, which I never really liked in the first place. In fact, the only reason I bought the tickets was because my wife and her father have been bugging me to go for three years. In my opinion, a waste of my money. At least the female violinist they had was kinda hot. Gave me something to focus on when I didn't have stage lights directly in my eyes...

Say It Ain't So, Joe!

2008-10-29T19:36:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid, all my heroes were action figures. I loved playing with my Star Wars and GI Joe toys. It was especially fun when they fought each other, or Han Solo and the Millennium Falcon helped Duke, Hawk and the boys take out Cobra.

As I got older, musicians became my heroes. Joe Strummer has always been a personal hero of mine. The Clash changed my life, both in the music I listened to and the way I thought about how a small group of people can enact change. The Clash were an overtly political band that inspired people to make changes. I short, they were "the only band that matters".

Now old and new are together. I found this set while looking around online. Much like the other artists that have been captured in plastic form (Bon Jovi, AC/DC, Dio in actual size), these four pioneers of music can collect dust on your shelf.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. Part of me wants to rail against this as going against everything The Clash stood for. Part of me wants to get the set, partly because I'm a big fan and partly because they actually look pretty good.

I hope Joe is rolling in his grave over this...

Have Your Cake & Eat it Too

2008-10-29T18:29:00.000-07:00

I watched a bit of the Barack Obama PSA this evening, and I was struck by something. During the broadcast, he focused on a family in Louisville, KY, where both parents worked at the local Ford plant. This is a plant that builds Ford trucks. The work had been cut back, and the wife was laid off. Obama used this family as a focus for his plans to boost the economy, create more jobs and increase the quality of life for the middle class.

Meanwhile, the government - the same government that Obama is trying to run - has instituted policy that creates a minimum on gas mileage for vehicles. This means that trucks such as those that this gentleman builds every day will not meet the required fuel efficiency standards that will take effect in the next few years. Car companies can still produce and sell these vehicles, but at a significant fine. Sales of larger, less fuel-efficient vehicles are already down, and the car companies are not going to incur the fines without passing them along to the consumer. As people struggle to pay their mortgages, put food on their tables and fuel the vehicles they use to drive to their increasingly less-stable jobs, they are going to cut back on costs. Costs like larger vehicles that use more fuel.

Plants are shutting down. Daimler recently shut down a truck processing plant, effectively putting everyone there out of work. What will happen when Ford decides that this plant in Kentucky is no longer cost-efficient? This man, along with the rest of his coworkers will be out of work. I'm sure that this man was excited to be a focal point of this production, but how will he feel about things when he is no longer working? Will he feel the same way about Obama as he did a few weeks ago when this thing was put together?

Obama wants to increase the tax cuts for small business while making the large companies pay the same, if not more in taxes. Higher taxes mean increased costs which mean profit losses. I understand the meaning behind his cuts, and even support the idea. However, with the economy the way it is these days, larger corporations don't need reasons to shut down divisions, or even close up shop. This country was built on small business, and I agree with supporting them. However, small businesses cannot provide the jobs on the scale of large corporations or the breadth and quantity of products. While McCain has been painted as the bad guy in the media for wanting to cut taxes for the large corporations (among other things), I think his plan will work better for the American economy in the long run.

I don't think McCain will win the election, and frankly I don't give a shit who you vote for. However, my wife said something very smart the other day - if you don't take part in the election, you can't bitch about the result. So, take part and vote so you can bitch about the problems or be blamed for being part of the cause.

Freaks & Geeks 2008

2008-10-20T20:06:00.000-07:00

So, my plans of football and cooking were canceled when the wife decided that the family needed to go the the Renaissance festival on Sunday. White two of my favorite activities were pretty much thrown to the wolves, I did get to enjoy another favorite activity of mine - watching and making fun of freaky people. A long time ago, before we could drink, we would drive down to this little coffee shop. Hanging outside the chop were generally your goth and geek kind of people. Because when they hang out in packs, they're stronger. There was even one guy who, at one point in time thought he was a werewolf. These are the kind of people I'm talking about...

Well, the Renaissance Festival offers all of these kinds of people, just on a much larger scale. (Plus, they serve beer!) I realize that they are getting paid for this, but these people are dressed in costume, speaking in English accents in period-speak, and really way too into this. And that's just the people who work there. There are also people who do this without getting paid for it. They just seem to think it's fun to dress in a kilt in mid-October when I'm freezing in a jacket and a wool hat.

I did learn something, however, on Sunday. Apparently, the Renaissance people were really into S&M. I saw more than a few people in full bondage gear, including some freak in all black leather, buckles and zippers and a gas mask. So, not only did the Renaissance people really like freaky sex, they also existed after World War II. Kind of like how the Civil War happened a few years after the dinosaurs became extinct...

The day wasn't a wash, though. Both the wife and the kids had a good time and got some souvenirs. I go to watch jousting, and while I find it confusing that this is our official state sport, it is actually kind of fun to watch. Also, I can't have a completely bad time when there's good food and good beer involved. All in all, while there were things I would have rather done yesterday, I didn't have a totally bad time.

I should be in bed...

2008-10-18T20:13:00.000-07:00

It's after 11, and I have to get up early tomorrow. It seems the fun day I had planned of watching football and cooking gumbo (a 4-hour process when done right) has been canceled, as the Wife decided we are going to the Maryland Renaissance Fair tomorrow. It's the last day and all, but this is the first weekend where I haven't had something to do on Sunday. It could be fun though. It's kind of like the Comicon - I don't get many opportunities to walk into a situation and know that I am one of the 2 or 3 coolest guys there...

Anyway, the reason I'm still awake, other than trying to amuse you, is that LSU is playing tonight. There are few things that I like more than watching them play football. There are also few things that frustrate the living hell out of me. Their defense hasn't been nearly as good this season as in the past, and they started the season with 2 quarterbacks who had thrown a total of 2 meaningful passes. But, they're 4-1, about to go to 5-1, thankfully. At least I get to watch Steve Spurrier throw a fit every time LSU's defense does something good.

Anyway, the game is almost over and LSU is up by 7. Guess I'll be sleeping okay tonight. I hope I get to watch some of the Saints-Panthers game tomorrow. It should be good. (I love the Sunday Ticket on DirecTV!!!) Time to get some sleep so I can get up early and go look at the beer wenches in the cold weather.

What This is About...

2008-10-18T20:07:00.000-07:00

After reading some other people's blogs, I thought it might be interesting to post my own random thoughts and views from a different perspective. A little about me - I'm married with kids and work six days a week. Therefore, by the time I have some time to myself during the day, I'm pretty much fried. I thought it might make for some interesting observations. Please feel free to let me know what you think. In short, I think the title of this blog says it all...